Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Day 228 and 229, 2012

Hello my dear Dingleberries,
As some of you may have noticed by now I've settled in to a land of depressed .  I'm at a wall in my relationship, in my life, as a mother, as a daughter and as a girlfriend. 

Just ranted and raved a whole page worth and deleted it. I won't bring myself down to bitching and pissing and moaning about how awful I think my life is right now. Because you know what? It could always be worse...Right?
Time to take my own advice and Hang in there!


Day 228, Monday August 20th

As you all know already it was a pretty shittastic weekend, it's going to take me a few long strides but I'm determined to not let this bother me.  I can find other ways to make myself happy and therefore bring in some sunshine for Pokey.  I know it's hard to find the light these days, I just hope she doesn't pick up on it.

Day 229, Tuesday August 21st
Did everyone catch this weeks Music?  It was a personal favorite for me and took me back a few years, more than a few actually, but a good one regardless.
Tomorrow is my What I'm Loving Wednesday.  That means all the bad aside.

I ordered three of the photos from the Peachtree Road Race I ran back in July. I'm excited to see them come into the mail.  Hopefully they look OK in my hands, the computer made them look OK.  So fingers crossed. 


My toe nail fell off last week. It's totally yuck.  This goes back to the toe injury I suffered after the Peachtree Road race on the walk back to Marta. I thought it odd that it took so long for it to fall off.  that was July 4th ya know.  It's over 2 months. Weird right?
I want to do another race, or something. I want to do something. It's been so long since I've gone out running or since we've been biking. I'm back on my vitamins with hopes they will chipper me up, but I think I need more.  I'm sure of it.

Here' to hoping!

Still no words on the house stuff
::bangs head on hand::

Mama MB seems to be doing OK though. She hasn't complained to me that she's having any negative side effects from this round of chemo either.  She did have some swelling in her feet but the Dr advised her that it's from the steroids she's on right now.  So we'll see. Keep those prayers coming that they can get something to work on this cancer. 


Hang in there!

17 comments:

  1. Sorry things are so hard! You hang in there, yourself!

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  2. Things can only get better. Until then there's martinis.

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  3. I can honestly say that I've never ran enough to merit a toe-nail falling off, so props to you, even if your toe looks 'yuck'.

    Thinking of you and Mama Monkey,
    b

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    1. Thanks Bea. I remember it, it hurt! It was after the race and I guess it snagged on the shoe or something, hurt like a SOB and looked all...funny... it's weird not having one now. lols. Can't wait till it grows back!

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  4. Oh no, so sorry you are feeling low. Hope you find some joy real soon!!!!

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    1. Thank you! It's coming, I'm sure of it! :)

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  5. One thing I've noticed- and I don't pretend that it will be any help- is that I stopped getting quite so depressed over things when I started greeting each and every problem with, "It's just a thing." Shit happens, sometimes we can avoid it, other times we gotta clean it up. God's got the big stuff dialed in, the rest gets dealt with in order received.

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    1. You're soooo right! I need to just apply myself a bit more. I guess we all hit our lows. Now time to dig back out!

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  6. Doria, sometimes life is just overwhelming for all of us. You are right, as my buddy Lenny always tells me (And I could smack him sometimes : )) "It can always be worse." You are going through a lot right now, you just follow your own words and hang in there dolling! Try to think of the good things you are blessed with on those bad days!

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    1. Thanks Tim. I was glad to read that you've chipped up as well! It must be the change of the season or something .... Well it sounded good :)

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  7. When I had the stress of my full time job and my own depression the VA put me on a pill that has helped me a lot and Linda also uses one daily to help her deal with pressures at work and her demon 19 yr. old. I don't like taking a lot of medicine daily but I do face things better with my meds. Hope you get to feeling more chipper.

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    1. Yea, I'm not one to take medicine. It messes with my anxiety, which I also do not take medicine for. But that aside, I will come back around. I always do. We're all entitled to one or two bouts with depressions, aren't we?

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  8. Keep your head high and remember that all painful times are only temporary and that we don't appreciate the awesome times without having some shitty times to compare them too. Whenever I'm feeling really down I think of the famous saying (though I have no idea where it originated), "I once felt sad for I had not shoes, until I met the man with no feet".

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    1. No idea where that saying came from either, but it rings so true and bet they didn't feel sad for having no shoes then. At least they can wear shoes! I'm trying to stay positive. I hope it's temporary like you said, I'm usually better at staying happy. Ugh.

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  9. Just try to keep focussing on the little things that make you smile sweet lady.
    Some days can be prety tough and you have a lot n your plate.
    Dont be afraid to let it out here if you need. Sometimes putting it out to the universe helps a lot
    Also I think it is a reat idea for you to plan for another race or something else you really enjoy. Looking forwrd to something always makes me happier
    Big hugs for you

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Dingleberry says: