Tuesday, November 26, 2013

1st year,

So it was today, last year at 6:50 pm that my dear Mama MB passed away.... One of the saddest days in my 32 years of life.  Which is expected.  When you love some one as much as I loved her.  It's true, when I read a pin the other day that Mom is one of our first loves.  There are no words truer in this world.  I pray my children feel for me, if only a smidgen, the way I felt for Mama MB. The way I feel, the way I will always feel. She may be gone from this world. Gone from my sight and I can't "hear" her voice. She will live on forever, in my heart and memories. With each glance I catch in the mirror, through the eyes of my monkeys and from my family.

She left her mark on this world, that's for sure.  I can almost guarantee anyone who met her, surely could never forget her.

I sit back and think about it all the time, every day when I come down the hill and look up and see her house sitting up there. I know she's not there, my Dad is there and her pets are there.  It's a constant reminder though of how much I miss her.

This day last year, I had no idea how sick she was.  Papa MB didn't call us and let us know. I remember reading his text, that she wasn't' doing well at all.  I went down the hill, up the hill and to her house...

It was then it hit.  She passed that night ....

I miss her so much.  It's been a year. I still feel like she's going to come home from some vacation or that she won't be mad at me tomorrow and I can call and talk to her, lol. Not that I've any idea what she would be mad at me for.

Wish she was here to meet her first grand son.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Tuesday Thoughts ...

Just caught myself searching through my album looking for my Monday Mash up picture, lol.  That would have been a flinging mess there wouldn't it?  Then again that does sound like something I've done in the past.  Shhhh, let's not say that too loud. Don't want my Dingleberries to know I fling those up from time to time.  

So it's not Monday at all, not anymore.  

Monday was my birfday and not the bloggy birfday. My really real birfday.  It's safe to say there was something, or someone missing.  But I guess that's expected.  You know last year the birfday came along and selfishly I prayed that Mama MB wouldn't pass on my birfday. How bad is that?  I think about it now and all I feel is damn, how selfish was that?  I hope I haven't already said this.  I don't want to be a broken record or something like that. No one likes that guy!  I sat at dinner last night, surrounded by those that I love and those that love me and I felt a little empty.  

Isn't it weird how we take things for granted?  I tried the last few years of Mama MB's life to not take those little moments for granted.  When it's all said and done, it's easy to think back to all the moments you did take for granted.  

I guess this is all coming out in light of the one year mark approaching...  

So it being Tuesday kind of throws a wrench in my whole " Mash up" that I'd decided to go with tonight.  I guess I can still share some  music?  Nah I don't think I will. 

Instead I'm just gonna carry on with my poo flinging tonight ! It's almost my bedtime. 

The little MB's decided to get sickly on me this weekend,  sick monkeys are really a nightmare. Just in case you were wondering!  Poor baby MB has some chest congestion and ran a temp all weekend.  Pokey decided to cough all weekend, luckily neither of them had any ear infections.  WE got lucky. I hope it stays that way.  Hoping I can get baby's lungs clear and we don't have any other problems! 

This is what it looks like after a breathing treatment.  His first breathing treatment. Poor baby monkey.  Guess he got his Nana's genes on that one.  :/  

There we have it, I will leave it at this.  Tomorrow is that darn Wednesday, gotta fight the camel.  

-Hang in there!  

Friday, November 15, 2013

Missed another birthday,

So I've gone and done it again, 3 years old around here. Can you believe it?  October 10, 2010. I started this blog, blogging about my little Pokey monkey in fact. That was a different time of my life. I had all the time in the world, or so it seemed. Pokey was my one and only. I had a boyfriend, but it was just that. Nothing serious if you'd asked me.  

As I said, life was different then.  I even remember the reason I started blogging. Isn't that funny?

I'm saddened that I forgot yet another bloggy birthday.  I guess with all that's been going on. I sat in the car this morning, fighting the metro Atlanta traffic to get my little Monkey to daycare this morning. It dawned on me that not only have I neglected my blog a lot. It's changed some... When it all started, I  blogged about my life and things that were going on in it.  I think to myself now, it changed, if only little bits and pieces.  

I'm not being too hard on myself, because I know I'm busy. I know I've got a lot going on and I know I'm working to balance out a lot of things in my life.  With the new house, baby, marriage, loss. Everything ...

I'm working it out though and I'm so thankful for you all. For hanging tough like faithful Dingleberries.  

So, it's late, but better than never... I guess... Happy late Birthday to the Monkey Butt blog!  

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

A Very Airmail Christmas, 2013

Hello my dear Dingleberries, 

Some of you may remember last year I shared and signed up for A Very Airmail Christmas, sharing Christmas cards with awesome folk around the world.  If you can't quite remember, click here and go check out last years.  Of course things will work the same this year.  

Last year Making Memories dedicated this to Robin, please go check her blog and see how special Robin was and how brave.  

This year, she's dedicating it in honor of Mama MB.  You all remember her passing last year, like my post says, we're quickly approaching the one year mark for her death.  

Please sign up and join in the fun. Mama MB is smiling above as we spread the Christmas cheer this year and every year. 

So again, go check it out. Leave some love for Rebecca and sign up.  Keep in mind, there are people across seas signing up, so just be aware that there is a chance you will have to send a card over seas.  

Monday, November 11, 2013

Monday Mash up: Episode 13

I logged in a while ago with intentions of doing some reading, some comments and perhaps get a little MB post on.  A few hours ago, I found the picture you see above.  My occasional Monday Mashup post.  Hey , it's Monday... again.  Glad I'm not seeing and hearing that stupid Wednesday camel, but who doesn't hate on a Monday?  

It was a nice break to stop by and read a few posts today, I miss my Dingleberries.  I'd say I always mean to log in and do some reading, post a little and then something happens. I get distracted at work or too occupied on facebook to really just dedicate the time my blog needs.  

It's not smelly in the land of MB at all lately.  I really gotta work on that.

I guess honestly I never gave much thought at how busy life is with two children, with a home and job and school age kid.  It makes no sense really, because since Pokey was a year old I've  had  a job. The same job as a matter of fact.  Only since little Monkey does it seem to be slightly overwhelming.  I don't understand.  Not one bit.  How can this be? 

Here we are, already in the month of November. My birthday is this month as is Thanksgiving and the anniversary of my Mama MB's death. I remember last year, like it was yesterday. I as so scared, selfishly, that she would pass on my birthday. I remember praying, please don't let her pass on my birthday.  I'd like to think I'd come to terms with her passing.  That it had been long enough for the bleeding to stop.  It's still bleeding. I come down our street, every day and say Dang I hadn't seen or talked to mom in forever .... oh yea, I remember.  It's still really fresh and still bull that she's gone.  It all starts with Pinktober and just spirals down from there. Now we're working on Thanksgiving plans.  Sometimes, I miss the biggest part of what I'm thankful for. I'm still thankful for so much, still thankful for Mama MB.  Even if she is gone, I'm thankful for what time I had her for.  

Things have been going well, other than being broke as sin and trying to catch up on bills.  We're doing good. Lil Monkey is a talker and just so precious. Those of you who are my friend on FB know just how adorable my little Monkeys are :)  

Life is a strange and interesting place most of the time.   
Thanks for always being here my Dingleberries. 

-Hang in there!