Monday, January 3, 2011

Dear to be an ex smoker,

You suck!  Just sayin'.  And I don't care if "I'm just saying" is on the list of to be banished phrases or whatevski.  I'm still using it!  Every one of the words they put on that list this year, I use them all, and I've no plans on stopping that in this year, 2011.  Screw you guys! 

I'm attempting to quit smoking, and after going at most 2 or 3 hours without a cigarette I end up on my wits end ready to strangle the next person who says 1 word to me!  Just sayin', lol.   Then I click online to see this and dippy tells me when I feel I can't fight the craving run my arse up a flight of stairs and as I'm gasping for breath I will remember.  Yes you are right, I will give you that, this reason is the ONLY reason I NEED to quit smoking.  I need to accomplish certain things in my near future and I'm blaming cigarettes for my not being able to do it. I fear falling out dead with a heart attack as I'm running my arse for a mile and a half.  I rode my bike on Sunday, what the bloody hell was I thinking?  I went appox 2 miles on this bike, my inner thighs hurt like a sonofabitch and its honestly to near my "flower pot" for it to be comfortable. I don't like aches and pains in that general area....  TMI?  I'm sorry!  But dearest Dippy, I already know I need to quit so I can run my arse up a flight of stairs and not gasp for breath.  But aren't there non-smokers out there who gasp for breath just like anyone else after running up a flight of stairs?  Perhaps it isn't as bad as when you smoke, but all in all, a gasp is still a gasp.  And why can't you tell me something useful...  haha...

Maybe I should just smoke and ignore his reminders of why I can't run up a flight of stairs?!! 

To be brutally honest, I'm using you readers/followers/fellow bloggers as my distraction right now, to distract me from the ache I feel inside as my black heart breaks with remorse of losing something of a companion. Ive carried this companion around for at least 15 years now and its heartbreaking to think of losing such a companion. Cigarettes and me are my most constant relationship.  My longest lasting relationship. 
I hear everyone saying, oh cigarettes are bad for you.  But what isn't?!  I mean really?  What in this world isn't bad for you anymore. I'm interested in knowing the answer to that question.  I truly love smoking most of the time.  I have my off days where they taste like shit and make me feel terrible as well as make my back hurt, but whatever.  Isn't that what love does?  hahaha... I'm terrible.  But really.  It's hard to fucking quit smoking. I want NEED to quit smoking! 

Ugh someone share with me a success story and what helped or didn't?  I know they say there are food cravings and driving, coffee, sex, everything.. Mines just boredom.  ugh... SAVE ME!  It's not fair that cigarettes make me unable to breath well, lol. 

Good day readers.... 


  1. Ohhh, poor you, I know how hard it is :/
    I wish you all the best at quitting I believe in you, you can do it girl :)

  2. I quit cold turkey after 19 years of smoking a pack or more a day. It's hard girl, damn hard. I had to seriously attempt it at least 20 different times before I finally got it right and succeeded. I ate a lot of pretzel sticks and carrot sticks .... to give that "cigarette feel" in my hands. I would literally hold the damned food like it was cigarette! HAHA. I started drinking my coffee stronger... in my mind, it gave the bad but desired taste in my mouth that smoke did. Again.... ridiculous, but it worked for me.

    My suggestion is that you find things that work for you and never mind what Dippy says! Fuck Dippy! Dippy gets paid to spew that "advice" that just doesn't work for everyone!

    I'll be honest, it took me 6 months straight of thinking about cigarettes every single motherfucking day before ... suddenly.... I just stopped thinking about it and craving it.

    Also... and be warned.... while this worked for me.... it may absolutely NOT work for you because it's risky. But when I absolutely could not shake the feeling of wanting to go back to smoking.... I'd permit myself to smoke ONE cigarette... to get it out of my system......but more times than not, I put it out after a few puffs because it tasted fucking disgusting and I was renewed in my desire to quit. But when I say I couldn't shake that feeling.... it was weeks between these "puffs".... not hours or days. Again... this is risky for a lot of people.... but I knew it would work for me.

    It's been 8 years and now I HATE when I go into a bar and walk out smelling like smoke! lol

    Good luck, you can do it.... but it will be the hardest thing you do in your life. They say kicking the smoking habit is more difficult than kicking heroin and I believe that to be true. I see people smoking cigarettes and I think "Really? People still do that?" because it seems so "yesterday" to me! haha.

  3. Thanks ladies. Im still trying to pep talk myself into actually wanting to quit. Im hopeful that I can kick this. Thanks again for the support, will try and keep ya posted.

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