Wednesday, June 6, 2012

(Zombie) Guest (Re) Post: How do ya like your face?

So today we're blessed with the allowing of sharing from Deb over at Just Keepin' it real, Folks. She never fails to come up with some of the funniest stories ever and the way she shares them. Awesome sauce. Take a few minutes out of your zombie preparing arses and go check her out.  Ya won't be disappointed! She ran this exact post last Wednesday for her wacky Wednesday (see post here) and was so very kind to fill some space on the monkey butt zombie apocalypse week!  Enjoy! 

Welcome to another addition of Wacky Wednesday folks. Today I have a wacky question for ya? When you go to a restaurant, how do ya like your face prepared? Grilled, sauteed, blackened, broiled or fried? Well, if you are a zombie I guess you like face straight up.

Yeppers, that's how Rudy Eugene liked the face of Ronald Poppo as he chewed it off down in Miami the other day in what witnesses are calling the most gruesome attack they have ever seen. A naked Eugene attacked the homeless Poppo, and after police and witnesses repeatedly yelled at him to get off the man, Eugene just growled at them, baring his teeth with flesh hanging from his mouth. Police were forced to shoot and kill Eugene.

Damn, the zombie apocalypse has definitely arrived folks!!! Apparently all ya gotta do is take some new drug called bath salts and it turns you into a cannibal. And here I thought bath salts were just a little somethin' special I poured into my tub every night to make my skin nice and silky. Guess I better warn my family to batten down the hatches when I go into my bathroom every night for my "Deb time", or else they are gonna end up as my midnight snack. I must say my little Ry Guy has some good meat on his bones so he will be the first one in serious danger!!!! We didn't nickname his legs "hamhocks" for nuthin' ya know. A zombie's gotta love some meat don't ya think??? Uncle Jeffy and my 16 year old are long and lean so I would save them for last. Flesh and bone just don't seem worth the effort.

Now Mr. Eugene did leave Mr. Poppo's goatee in tact, so that tells me zombies don't like hair. Good thing 'cause hair balls just make ya cough and hack all over the place. Plus, both my kids have really cool hair, and when I come outta my bath tub all hyped up on my bath salts ready for my zombie attack, I don't wanna ruin their hair. For once in his life, I'll bet Uncle Jeffy is damn glad he's bald!!!! No danger of zombie Deb chowin' down on his hair.

Of course I do like some seasonings with my meat. So, unlike Mr. Eugene, I'm gonna keep some garlic salt, pepper and parsley by my bathtub for when I go into zombie mode. Hell, I may go all out and sprinkle some Old Bay on my victims. I've always been known to be a bit hot and spicy

There ya have it. The awesome sauce of Deb, again at Just Keepin' it Real, Folks.  Check her out and a million thanks from the Monkey Butt for your witty awesome zombie apocalypse posting! 


Dingleberry says: