Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Someone wake me from this nightmare....
I'm trapped and crying. The only thoughts in my mind are of my Mother. I can feel her fear. I can understand her sadness. It is all to real for me now. I'm scared, not for what may happen, or what I just know will not happen. The worst case scenario. I know everything will just be FINE! I'm worried and confused and my thoughts are racing with trying to figure out exactly what is happening and why. It's strange. Im searching the faces coming and going for my Mothers face. To know she is there for me. I cannot find her anywhere. I just know she would be scared for me, as I am scared for myself.
A little insight on this dream. It was indeed a dream I dreamt last night. In most cases I cannot really remember my dreams very often. It has to have a real significance I think sometimes. So the Dr's are telling me I need brain surgery. New to my blog? Click here . I'm worried and confused, because they haven't done test on me, they only tell me it has to be done. That they KNOW it's there. I'm freaking and just saying whatever. They are going over what to do and how when all of this. It's overwhelming. I'm a nervous wreck. (In my dream)
I can understand fully my Mothers fear and sadness and worry and stress. I thought I understood this before, but now, after a dream like that. I truly understand now.
My Dad is sending me thank you messages this morning, in thanks for my sister and I doing our part and putting up half of the deductible for my Mothers surgery. It feels like the least I can do right now. (She called us so very upset over money two mornings ago. My Mother has been on disability for years now no longer has a drivers license and should be driving or working for that matter. She didn't want to put off the surgery due to lack of funds. Didn't want to go through the stress and preperation, mentally, for what is to come.) I'm scared for her and of the procedure. I just know she will be just fine. They are giving her a 98% chance of nothing to go wrong. Which I will say seems pretty high! I'm glad this is in the wheels of process and will be so much happier when it's all said and DONE!
Thank you my readers, followers and fellow bloggers for all of of your kind words. I don't know you guys, but I know I really like you! :)