Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Good morning!  *grumbles*  The lights seem weird in here, I feel all gloomy, depressed. sad.  I want the sun to shine, it's day 2 with no sun. I'm sorry you are all reading of my bitching.  For real, Sorry!  I can't help it. It's just HOW I AM!

If you're still reading... THANKS!  You are a great friend!

So today, I FAILED!  Yes...FAILED!  I attempted to think I could go without a patch today. I think I was OK until I came into the office.  The office with depressing lights and no window, gloomy and depressing.  I want to be outside.  Perhaps I should just go outside?  So a while ago I attached the patch.  I tried.  and failed! Will try again tomorrow.  I know the directions say to wear them like 6 weeks or something, but I don't want to become addicted to nicotine patches.  Or do I?  Are they safer? NO, fuck that.  If I want nicotine addiction, I want to smoke the damn cigarette that goes hand in hand.  Damn it!  Fuck being addicted to nicotine  patches.  That doesn't sound like any fun at all!  It;s not the same!

I'm ranting!  Day, what 5 and still smoke free! Damn nicotine patches!  I need SUNSHINE!  Have a great day my fellow bloggers, readers and followers!

ps... The smell of exhaust, especially diesel, is really affecting my nose today... Grrrr!


  1. I'm really sad to hear this.

    I hope your day will turn out to better!

  2. Doria, dearest, give yourself a little more slack than you currently are - please! You haven't failed anything. :)

    All things being equal, the patch is healthier for you than the cigarettes because there isn't any harmful, excessively toxic smoke going into your lungs. Take your time with the patch. The nicotine won't kill you - the smoke from the cigarettes will.

    Honestly, if you think about it, it's probably harder to stop smoking now because there isn't any sunshine. Lack of sunshine = depressed...depressed = desire to smoke & feel better.


  3. Hugs for you Starlight :)

    Sam. YOu are so sweet, thank you so much for your kind words! I know I shouldn't beat myself up so much and i will do better at NOT doing that! I hope the sun shines soon :) *hugs* for you also! :)

  4. Thanks Kristen.. I know this too shall pass, Im glad it's past right now, for the time being. :)


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