Treatment week 1

 Week one was TOUGH.  I'll be completely honest I thought Mr. MB was going to go ahead and throw in the towel. It was very overwhelming.  Surgery went well, as I mentioned before but recovery was a whole other thing.  There was a lot of pain. Way more pain that anyone led on.  Of course, all people handle pain differently and that just goes to say ... what's super painful for one may not be the case for another. It's nothing something I'm prepared to debate.  

Our week at a glance: 

Monday: surgery 

(we were literally there all day)

Tuesday: labs and chemo 

(a lot of pain, hard to get up and moving)

Wednesday: radiation 

(still a lot of pain and still not eating or drinking enough and sleeping all day)

Thursday: radiation 

(still in pain, still not eating or drinking. very out of it and not doing well at all.) 

Thursday is when I decided enough was enough and I wasn't sure exactly what was going on and how "normal" this was. I've never dealt with this, after all. I made the call and got him an appointment for them to check him and give him fluids. I had to cancel an appointment with a surgeon, but it is what it is.  You won't need surgery if you're dead. 

Friday: office visit and fluids

It was such a tough week, for us all.  I wasn't prepared for that level, I guess. We made it through it though and he was able to have a good Friday night and weekend.  I even got to go see Batman and have dinner with my sister.  

I don't know what the next weeks will look like, we have at least 5 of them, but I'm hopeful 

Until next time, hang in there dingleberries 

-MB 

Ugh....

 

She's in and out of bed.... Doesn't seem to want to get up and down. She doesn't seem to have the strength. Or the desire?   She doesn't eat ... much. Or drink much.  Possibly dehydrated.  They should start radiation next week.  What's the point if she's going to let herself die from starvation or dehydration?  I shouldn't be so cruel and mean with my wordss.  But I love her so much. It breaks my heart. I die inside and I can't help but be scared to death that she is going to die.    She's in constant pain and she's on all of these pain medicines. Which seem to make her all groggy and sleepy. Thinking that she's taking too much of her medicine.  Things aren't very great right now.  I feel like all I can do is sit back and watch it all go down.  I wish they could make it all go away. I with they could make it all better. That she wasn't so sick. That she wasn't in so much pain.  I miss the days when she felt better.

We knew it would come to this one day didn't we?  That cancer treatments would be bad at some point and that she's gotten so lucky so far.

But the cancer treatments aren't working..

They're radiating the adrenal glands as well as a spot of her back.

From what I'm told it's spread to the liver as well.

The cancer in her lungs has spread and her others have grown in size.

It's not looking good.

But am I suppose to know this? 

Mama MB doesn't talk to me about it, I understand. I don't say anything to her because I can't imagine how she feels going through all of this. What she thinks about. When she's not drugged with pain medicine.

Life isn't fair. Life fucking sucks for my Mama MB and it's NOT FAIR!

I'm sorry for the terrible words today. I don't want to talk to anyone about it, I just want to get it out.  Thanks my Dingleberries... 

 

 

Happy MONkeyDAY!

Just a bit of an update for tonight... Good followup for Sunday's (last nights) posts I guess. You know the MB hates to go without posting. 


(thanks Odie)


I've been watching "Diners Drive-ins and Dives" here lately.  I really like this show, also like Man vs Food. It's good stuff and sometimes I make mental notes so if I ever travel to any of these places I'm definitely going to visit these food places.

So this week not only have I added to my list but am also going to attempt to make one of the menu items. They didn't share the recipe but I think I could make a MB style.. Maybe? The resturant is called Perfectly Franks. It's in SC! I'm thinking a couple of my Dingleberries are from SC. or living in SC? Have any of you tried this place?  GA isn't far from SC and as soon as I can justify spending the money.  The MB crew  is taking a bit of a road trip. I must give it a shot!

So this week I'm going to attempt to make sweet tea marinated pork chops fried and served as a sammich. Sounds tasty right?   I'm hoping it's tasty!  Should be something different to say the least. They're almost thawed so I can throw them in the marinade for the night and day tomorrow.  Wish me luck.


Moving on...

Mama MB has been dealt a card this go around with her chemotherapy. It's a different medicine. Granny MB keeps telling me that it's only been out for a couple of years. Unfortunately this happens to be the one that is actually giving Mama MB a run for her money (so to speak) Sadly she is in a lot of pain right now. Says her back is really hurting her. It's like going from spot to spot and seems to be like half of her back hurts. It isn't the hurt that's just dull and comes and goes.  When Mama MB says something hurts, ya know it's probably a pain that no one else could bare.  She's popping Tylenol every four hours and only has some Loratabs for pain as well. Taking those every four hours as needed also.  Unfortunately she doesn't enjoy the Loratabs. They make her itch.  I hope her doctor can get her something for pain lined up when she goes in on Thursday. I hate that she wants to wait until Thursday, but it's hard to argue with Mama MB. If she can't get a handle on it after a day off.  I will be sure to press her on the issue.  Granny MB took them out to Wally World today, which we all know is HELL for us healthy folks.  Mama MB can't handle the walking anymore. In the market for a wheel chair now.

Praying that this chemo is working and if it isn't that they can get her onto something else that isn't going to make her hurt like this. 

Keep the prayers coming, because I know she needs them. Keep the prayers going for Tim over at Blast from a Past as well. I read his comments tonight that his  sisters cancer has made  it to the liver. Prayers they get hers under control as well.

Life seems rocky right now and as CW says there is a plan to it all, I just hate that I don't know what the plan is.  Where the plan is heading.

 

Till then...

 

Hang in there!

 

 

Breast Cancer Update: A flicker of light?

Mama MB had her chemo treatments today, when I called and spoke with Granny MB she tells me that Mama MB was feeling OK. Her treatment was almost finished.

News in from the doctor, her blood work came back really good and Mama MB's pain had eased up some. So that gave them (the doctors)  reason to hope that perhaps the chemo is working this time. Maybe, just maybe the chemo is shrinking the cancer down.

source ( I can't make heads or tails of this shit)

Did I ever report their findings or the final word on the pain Mama MB was having? The pain that sent her to the ER one night, which mind you caused me some stress.  Well from what I'd read on Facebook she said it was pleurisy, well turns out it was only like pleurisy.  I've never fraking heard of pleurisy before. From what the interwebs tells me and of course what Mr. MB's Mom tells me it's really painful and is when fluid builds up between the lung and chest.  Caused from some cancers, among other things.  So perhaps it really was this thing called pleurisy.



But final word was, Mama MB was doomed to suffer the "pleurisy" until the chemo starts to work.  Nothing was going to make it go away, if it got too bad they could do a procedure that would drain the fluid, but I'm sure it would only build back up again, over time.

Mama MB got a bit of hopeful good news today. She hasn't been eating well lately and some members of the family was worried she was sinking into a bit of depression. I give it everything I can to be sure she keeps her chin up and keeps on praying.

We love the Mama MB and want her well again, at least get things under control.

So it's like I always say,

Hang in there! 

Cancer Update.... sort of

It's Thursday again, means that Mama MB is most likely on the car on her trip down for chemo treatments this morning.

Just sending this out into the blogosphere and asking for prayers.  She's been on this round for a few weeks now and God I hope it's working.... We need some good news with this cancer. I know prayer and love and every good vibe you all sent her way during radiation really helped.

Now we must focus everything on the chemo treatments. I know you're all with me.

Like I said, I just wanted to send this out there!! I love my Mama MB and I just want her well.


*Note to readers, Mama MB didn't have chemo today, she was only in for blood work, so that's a plus, they're on the 2 on 1 off schedule.  Keep the prayers coming anyways... 

The monster has been removed,

Mama Monkey Butt  had her left breast removed today.  That "monster" is gone.  They removed a plum size mass of nodes under her arm area.  Those are gone.  There are more nodes infected as well as her lung.  The battle isn't over.

Mama Monkey Butt is on a road of recovery right now, but before we know it she will back in the chemo chair again and last we heard from her Dr she would have chemo every week for 3 weeks with a week off and then 3 more weeks before a scan.

The chemo has to work this time, it just has to!

It's surgery time,

Update time on Mama Monkey Butt and her breast cancer battle.  Of course she's still surviving, fighting like a true champ.  The time has come though for them to do surgery.  The Dr's are worried that because the chemo isn't helping she may set up a case of gangrene. I know pretty much not a damn thing about gangrene other than the stories I hear that they use maggots to eat away the gangrene. If you ask me that's pretty damn nasty!  Just sayin'.

So the words right now are that nothing much as improved to put it bluntly. They're going to remove her breast, Friday.  2 more days and it will be gone. 

My aunt was my informant this time and she had a lot of... information for me to take in. For that I am glad.

I've a lot of thoughts I'm working through right now and I can't seem to get them straight and in line for a blog post, so for now. I'm leaving you with just this.  It's a battle this cancer wants, it's a battle it's getting. Because Mama Monkey Butt ain't no fool.  This shit won't get her!! Not a chance!

On behalf of my ass!

It's been a minute since I posted anything much at all in regards to Mama Monkey Butt and her battle with breast cancer.  Here I am finally getting around to it. I shouldn't put it off, but really there wasn't much to update. She's still getting chemo treatments every 3 weeks and running to and from the Dr for blood work and CT scans.  The norm I presume.  So this week Mama Monkey Butt had something to share on facebook and with her permission of course I'm sharing it with you. Her trials and feelings in her struggle!  It blew me away to see her share this I was so happy to see her come up and speak her mind. To share  her feelings on the subject. To talk about her fears. I don't see her enough nor do I talk to her enough and it KILLS me inside knowing this.  She has since deleted the post on facebook, but I managed to get my hands on it for all you Dingleberries to read on!   So I will stop my babbles and get on with the sharing!  Enjoy!  Hang  n there Dingleberries!

"Had some chick call this afternoon wanting donations for breast cancer. I ask who she is, she tells me she is calling on behalf of "American cancer society", but doesn't tell me who or what group she is with. I ask her, "so you are not the American cancer society?" She tells me "no", she is calling on behalf of, that scares me. I tell her she could be john doe from right up the street wanting my card number. she tells me curtly, "That's fine, if you don't want to help women with breast cancer. That's fine." and hangs up. I want to tell her how I feel, I have this monster, was a b cup, now my left arm wont lay down and rest easily beside me. Have an open, nasty place on the bottom of my breast where this monster has eaten its way to the outside of my body. I wear and change a gauze, many times daily. For the fear of getting an infection from this open place, and these people that call, and just because I wont give my card numbers to a person that I cant verify is truly who they are saying, get cold and hang up the phone on me. I hope I've done no wrong, of all people, I'd love to help somehow. I don't have a lot of money, but I don't like being made feel like I don't care about this monster that I am fighting right now for my very own life! I hope some of those people who work at these sites, see messages like this and possibly see how they make people like us feel, just because we wont willingly hand our identifications and numbers to people over the telephone. I hope I survive, I look forward to this look. Never thought I'd be saying those words, girls- Beware "

The world never ceases to piss me off, in amazing ways.  But leave it to a telemarketer to be an asshat.  That's OK we will prep mom for the next one!  Ah yes we will! 

Breast Cancer Updaters....

Mama Monkey Butt has treatment today.  I have not heard from her.  I worry constantly that it is all bringing her down. It stresses me more than anything else.

Life is a hard place for me right now, too many thoughts. Most of which are bad.

Life is really real right now.

So dear Dingleberries, hang in there as things go through a rough patch with me and keep Mama Monkey Butt and her breast cancer battles in your thoughts and prayers. 

She needs all she can get all of the time.

<3 

Chemo Updates....

Well hello Dingleberries. Here I am recovering from a serious case of slack ass monkey butt.  Very serious illness if I do say so myself.

Updates on Mama Monkey Butt though..

Last week, I didn't blog this one, she went down for chemo.  Well all the excitement from hearing her breast had shrank down in size, the Dr was concerned that it had came back up in size.  The Dr requested another CT scan so they did not do any treatments last week. They ran a new CT scan and spoke of changing the medicines and all if there wasn't any changes.

So this morning, Mama Monkey Butt is down again for chemo. They are actually doing the chemo today. They did change the medicines for the chemo and said that some of the cancer has shrank and some of it has not or has grown. She didn't specify and of course this is all done in text message. I will call her tonight and perhaps can have something more witty to say regarding this matter another time.

Again I feel like such a piece of Monkey poo because I haven't been calling like I should, I haven't been visiting like I should.  The price of gas is going back up and I'm trying to save money and stressing myself over shit in my own life. I'm just selfish pile of Monkey poo thrown against a wall right now. 

But Dingleberries, don't give up on me. I tend to pull through things, eventually. Keep praying for Mama Monkey Butt in her cancer treatment and keep us in your thoughts.  Till next time. 

Chemo...Round 2

So it's round two and Mom is in the winning circle.  They've just started the treatment and with only a minor vein collapse it has begun!

Of course I can't be there for this treatment either, which makes me sick to my stomach.  Why I can't be there for my Mom while she goes through all of this.  I know my Dad as well as Sister feels the same way at times. It's so close to Christmas and we're hoping and praying that she doesn't feel to terrible for the holiday.

She's still my number 1 person and the strongest person I've ever met.

 I'm so glad she's my Mom and such a strong person.

So Dingleberries, pray for my Mom.

From what I'm gathering, my Granny as well as one of my Aunts is there with her.   She told my aunt to jokingly tell us she is running around neked and feeling fine! So I think it's a good sign. She is at least up beat about it and taking it like the fighter that she is. 

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers.  Everything is going fine so far and I will update again later to let you know how she is feeling.

Merry Ho Ho's people.

Cancer update....

Well I'm posting this with thoughts of coming up with a better title for this series. I'm not feeling it at all for some reason.  Oh well, maybe next time.  Then what do I do? Do I actually go in and change them all to the new name?  So frustrating. If I were more patient of a Monkey I wouldn't find myself in these predicaments, would I?

Anyways,  as you all knows, I posted last week or something with Momma Monkey Butts goings ons and how well it was going, even shared her new wig with you.  You berries are right, she's rawking that wig isn't she! 

It blows my mind the way she has handled this so far. No real sickness from treatment No. 1 and she seems to be feeling fine. She's ecstatic that the size of the tumor in her breast has gone down a quarter of it's size in only one treatment.  It's amazing!  Her Dr is also very confident in what they're doing. For that we are glad! 

The goals as of right now, is to take it down, kill it off, whatever its called and then wait and see.  Because the cancer is all the same, the Dr's say that it's in her blood and I guess that means there is no real sense in surgery. So we kill it down and then wait to see if it comes back.  If/when it comes back they retreat again. 

Thanks everyone for the love, thoughts and prayers.  You make us strong with it and you help me through my hard times by being such wondermus Dingleberries.  I will update again when there is something else to update. Have an awesome week!

Cancer Update...

And yes I've renamed this series.... It's already hit home, you know that, now we FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

Well it's been a minute since I've done any updating on Mom's breast cancer survival.  Sadly there really hasn't been much to update.  Early November she went in for tests and the likes, PET scans and CT scans and the likes.  It all came back saying, hey you have cancer, well, more cancer.  It went from Breast Cancer to cancer in the lymph nodes as well as the chest area and the lung. 

Mom went into the Dr office yesterday, after we so patiently waiting till after the Thanksgiving holiday for the results of the last biopsy.  Mom's cancer has spread to her lung.  Meaning it isn't a different kind of cancer and it can't be treated differently.  From what I gather, Mom said that if the lung cancer was a different type then it would be better news, but it's the same.  So I guess that's bad news?  I'm not quite sure!

Anyways... things wrapped up quickly. Mom had her first round of  chemotherapy today.  They are treating her cancer with hopes it will shrink it down and make it better?  I'm sorry I'm so retarded with terminology and smart Dr stuff. Did I tell you Dingleberries ,I am no Dr?  Well, I'm not.  Plus unfortunately I've not been able to attend any of the Dr visits with Mom. So I'm not smart on the whole thing.

Mom had chemo today and  she was surprisingly upbeat and OK with everything yesterday when I talked to her, I've spoken to her tonight and throughout the day. She feels fine and actually received a cute wig.  We know her hair is going to fall out soon-ish?! 

Someone ratted me out and told Mom I'd planned on shaving my head when she lost her hair.  Bastards!  So now she is asking me not to. I love my Mom and would never do something she felt strongly against me doing ( lets not talk about my tattoos and piercings although she did approve of 3 of my piercings and yes I'm counting my ears!  )  But it thought it would make a nice statement as well as match hers!  Then again she may rawk the wig the whole time, lawd knows I can't rawk those like that (they are so itchy)

So, there you have the update and no worries, I will make sure to keep you all posted, because you're already gone this far, can't give up now! 

Thanks for caring.

Mom sporting her new wig
(she still has her hair )

It has hit home...

We are a little more optimistic I think right now. It's not such a terrible time, well kinda. It's still scary and stressful but we are getting more and more information as we go.  So we are happy....ish

Mom had tests today, as I said yesterday?  She had PET scans, CT scans a class as well as whatever else she spent 6 hours at the Dr office for today! 

Dad stressed me for a moment when he sent me this strange text message saying the Dr called and said the insurance would pay 100/00 of the treatments. I'm like WTF if this insurance company only pays 100 bucks of her treatments then I am going to be like Denzel Washington on that movie where his son needs a heart and his stupid fucking insurance company won't cover the shit. He sells everything he owns and then pretty much holds the hospital hostage!!  OK OK I stray, so he explained later that they will cover 100% of it. Yea he couldn't find the % sign on his blackberry!  Stressful!

The Drs explained although she will lose her hair within a couple of weeks that the awfulness we thought would come from Chemo only last a few days or so after the actual treatment.  Though none of this is positive because everyone has different side effects to anything there is no guarantee, but we are hopeful. They are also saying that her shots, for her MS, will also help fight this cancer.  Shit is working out people. It's sad that she has to go through this as well as fucked up and unfair but it will only make us stronger.

I'm going to look strange with no hair and I've not mustered the guts to tell her yet that I plan to shave my head when she loses her hair. So don't go babbling the news to her or anything!  ;)  She advised me earlier that her Dr said being that there are cases of cancer in the family that we should be checked as well. Awesome. My broke arse with no insurance now has something else to worry about right now.  Yay gimme another cigarette. I know it's no joking matter and really I'm not joking it's just too much I guess!
In other news, her PET scan today they ran some radiation through her, we were excited at pee time hoping her pee would be some awesome bright green or something, it wasn't. Total bullshit if you ask me, but whatevs.  She has to drink a lot of water and warsh it all out.  She will have her results Monday as well as her first treatment.  As far as we know, things are changing all the time.  Each time she goes to the Dr I am a little unsure what exactly they are going to do, but she fills me in. 

And she's drinking soda, damn.  I'm giving up on the bright colored pee!