** Note to reader, before you begin. This is somewhat of a religious post. If you've no interest, please come back later for something no so real! **
I recently found myself aching to attend the church with Mama and Papa MB. It didn't all start with me wanting to find religion. With me seeking answers to this life we live or what God may or may not have planned for me and my life.
It started with the simple desire to participate in something my parents enjoyed doing. Something that brought them some sort of happy.
I felt a pull and decided that when we moved, I would attempt to get a little more involved in the church thing. Try to attend times other than morning service only. I've taken Pokey to the AWANA in the evenings and I've sat through the 6pm service a few times.
It's not so bad....
To the point of the post... I feel as though I'm losing what if any faith I've found so far. With Mama MB's sickness only getting worse and worse. My little bit of faith is turning into anger. This is normal, I know. I've heard of it many times. Someone loses something or someone they love and they blame God for taking them away. For not making them feel better.
But it's happening to me... I've just started the road to seeking out what they say is God here comes the wrench in my chain. Or maybe like the preacher man says.... It's the devil trying to get me!
What do you do?
Hang in there!