Back to work today, it's a rough day for me... I'm alright, until I'm alone. It's an hour commute each way to and from work and the trip out for lunch.. I just want to grab my cell phone and call her up.
After my dad died I started bringing him up in conversation a lot. I just sort of started inserting him into things, you know? If I were talking to someone about Siamese cats, or whatever else dad liked, then I'd say, 'yeah, my Dad really like Siamese cats.' I felt like it kept Dad in the room with everyone, you know?
Things like this happening this time of year always makes it worse, it just makes it hurt more. My father nearly died three or four times and it was always during the holidays. He died in Sept 96 and Mom Nov 06.
It makes the holidays tough even around good family and friends. Doria, you will never, NOT miss your Mama, not as close as you were to her. I was a daddy's boy. It will get easier with time, but the holidays are always a reminder that the love we shared with our loved ones never ends but we do miss them being here.
Sometimes I can be in a room with 1000 people and still feel lonely, then other times I'm home with just me and Woody and feel he's crowding me (Po' doggy). Probably why I never got married or committed to a long term relationship. I guess I'm just weird like that, it's balancing act that only we can control ; )
From what I have been reading on your blog and on facebook, sounds like you are doing pretty good under the circumstances. My prayers and thoughts for you and the family's healing process continues.
Just keep reminding yourself of Pokey's e-mail to you, that's one smart cookie you are raising there, enjoy that child and remember there is another on the way. Take care of yourself gurl!
It really does suck. I remember when my Gran passed away and I hated the lonely moments. The moments when I just needed her.
It may sound strange but I had conversations with her and imagined her answers. It probably looked strange to some in my car on the way to school. But it helped so much! She's always there- you know that :) A mum never stops being a mum.
I'm sorry. Somedays I still expect my Granddad to come hobbling through the door with Granny. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteAnd I wonder why I don't hear from Dad anymore. He passed unexpectedly in '08.
ReplyDeleteAfter my dad died I started bringing him up in conversation a lot. I just sort of started inserting him into things, you know? If I were talking to someone about Siamese cats, or whatever else dad liked, then I'd say, 'yeah, my Dad really like Siamese cats.' I felt like it kept Dad in the room with everyone, you know?
ReplyDeleteThings like this happening this time of year always makes it worse, it just makes it hurt more. My father nearly died three or four times and it was always during the holidays. He died in Sept 96 and Mom Nov 06.
ReplyDeleteIt makes the holidays tough even around good family and friends. Doria, you will never, NOT miss your Mama, not as close as you were to her. I was a daddy's boy. It will get easier with time, but the holidays are always a reminder that the love we shared with our loved ones never ends but we do miss them being here.
Sometimes I can be in a room with 1000 people and still feel lonely, then other times I'm home with just me and Woody and feel he's crowding me (Po' doggy). Probably why I never got married or committed to a long term relationship. I guess I'm just weird like that, it's balancing act that only we can control ; )
From what I have been reading on your blog and on facebook, sounds like you are doing pretty good under the circumstances. My prayers and thoughts for you and the family's healing process continues.
Just keep reminding yourself of Pokey's e-mail to you, that's one smart cookie you are raising there, enjoy that child and remember there is another on the way. Take care of yourself gurl!
My mom used to drive me crazy, because she would call me every day. But when she died, I missed her calls so much.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
It really does suck. I remember when my Gran passed away and I hated the lonely moments. The moments when I just needed her.
ReplyDeleteIt may sound strange but I had conversations with her and imagined her answers. It probably looked strange to some in my car on the way to school. But it helped so much! She's always there- you know that :) A mum never stops being a mum.
(Long hug)
ReplyDeletetalk to her in the car.
ReplyDeleteWhat a terrible thing for you to go through. Hope time eases the pain...
ReplyDelete