Friday, April 15, 2011

Well hello there, Welcome back!

It's been 3 days now, every day there his text is, knocking at my cell phone window, "look at me, check me out, open the flip lady".  (those are the words of my cell phone, not the person sending them to me).  It's odd how friends suddenly come in and out of your life. But some how after what seems like a lifetime, there they are again.  

The best part, he reminds me constantly of the days I miss at times, reminding me of bands and music that with age and time and just out right busy schedule I have, I'd forgotten all about.  Today the conversation, well everyday we talk, we have always spiraled into the subject of music.  Today he brought up the band named "Garbage".  It has been a very long time since I'd heard any Garbage. Just so you know, I've yet to YouTube it and check her out.  Shirley Manson was so pretty back then. I hated her for her awesome black hair and adorable Gothic looking clothes. Our parents would have had a fit over that, well Mom would have!

So let me offer you some background on Mr. Back in my life.  Just to get it all out there, back in high school we dated, very very briefly, seems like a few of my high school relationships were brief.  Guess I was too busy back then even?  (kidding, kinda)  Well for some reason I fell madly in love with this boy. He was slightly older than me and absolutely ADORABLE. He reminded me of a certain someone I idolized!  Only now, that I'm older and over it, do I realize I'm not sure if it was "love".  More like lust or obsession, perhaps a little infatuated with the adorable of this boy.  The unthinkable happened and it ended, almost as quickly as it began. It took me another lifetime to completely say "I'm over that boy ENTIRELY" We are grown ups now. Times have changed, unfortunately he may be exactly the same! 

So we talk pretty often lately, I'm thankful for our conversations, it's always nice to catch up with lost, but never forgotten friends.  It makes me sad to hear his struggles with the many unfortunate events in his life. At times I wonder what it might have been like if things hadn't gone down the way they did. But that aside. I refuse to be that silly little obsessed girl ever again. I refuse. Perhaps this is why I'm the cold hearted shut down wench that I am today. Just maybe this is the reason. I will never know. Because I'm not at all interested in finding out. 

To be honest.. I'm blogging, because the thoughts make me nuts.  Even if only one of you read this, or just to convince myself that someone read it is fine.  I had to share.  As of right now, with my current relationship status. I can only hope  he doesn't THINK anything about that. That's he like me and left that part of life where it belongs. In the past! Because to be frank, I can't handle that obsession again. I've no time for it and well I refuse to have any interest in it!   

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