It's beginning to look a lot like ..... Christmas? How many of my dear Dingleberries are ready for the upcoming holiday? I'd like to say that I am, but Mr MB sprung it on me this morning that "we" needed to figure out the rest of the Christmas shopping. Uhm, :clears throat: I was under the assumption that "I" was done with my shopping. I figured out what all of my family would get and also what the kids would get for Christmas this year. Honestly I felt that my part of the job was done. Seems as though, my job is never done.
We recently became dedicated to church and God. This is hard for me at times, because I'm severely selfish and bitchy. It's true! Hence the whole " poo flinging" what did you think this meant? Just sayin'. So I'm a selfish brat who finds it hard to accept that I should happily do everything there is under the sun without help from anyone. That when I ask for help I should happily understand when no one helps!
As I said, this is hard for me.
Mr MB, Granny MB and myself are arranged to be Baptized this Sunday. This is hard for me to accept because I keep thinking I should be a new person before hand. Am I misunderstanding that once it's done you're a new person. I'm still going to think the same though, how can I rid my life and brain of all this selfishness I carry around with me. This guilt and anger and resentment. How can I be Christlike with all of this I hang on to.
I can't grasp an understanding.
What acceptance of Christ has brought me is a new and somewhat humble thinking. I am so very grateful and love my life and family so much. It has helped me that I should ask for help sometimes. I shouldn't be to proud to admit that sometimes I just can't carry it all.
So I've taken the good with the bad, at this point. Life will have it's ups and downs and before long I will level back out. Right?
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Yea so we also just married back in October, you all remember. All of my whiny selfish cry baby crap that I'm doing right now also falls under the whole wedding vow things. So I'm like double whammy right now. I keep going back and forth with it should be a partnership, but I'm also in the wrong. I expect and expect the partnership to work at home with life, house, kids, cleaning. The likes of those.
It's just a mess and honestly, typing it out, it isn't helping me work through it any better. So let's get back to something that doesn't suck. Shall we?
Stupid holidays make me crazy!
So I'm missing you all so much lately, I miss blogging, flinging poo. I miss all of that. Boy monkey and of course Pokey keep me busy. Last night Boy Monkey decided to outgrow his crib. What I mean by that is he is now so big (he thinks) that he's started standing. He pulls up and stands. So last night, I'm unable to get the tools I need or the help I need to provide a safe sleeping crib for him. Poor monkey slept in his play pen for a few hours and eventually ended up in my bed. He thinks he sleeps better there anyway.
It's shocking how different parenting is this time around. Boy monkey is quite literally the exact opposite of Pokey. It's mind boggling really. Yes I just said "mind boggling" When was the last time you heard that one?
So we're quickly approaching Christmas. I'm worried one gift for my dear cousin won't make it in time, stupid Hong Kong and their shipping issues. Just goes to show you should allow more time for shipping when ordering gifts online for Christmas!
I hope everyone has a super flinging Wednesday. We're almost to the weekend, for that I cannot wait. Then again I'm not really looking forward to the mad dash to get everything wrapped up this weekend. Ahhhhh my nightmare!
Hang in there my dearest Dingleberries, will be over before we know it!
You might want to try and enjoy the season a bit more; children don't stay small for long and those early Christmases are precious. Take care.
ReplyDeleteI have recently lost a friend because they had to analyze every verse of the Bible for inaccuracies, contradictions, and things they couldn't understand. They decided to "lean on their own understanding", and were blown by every doctrine of man until they became so confused they were as good as lost. I finally had to cut ties when she thought it more important to listen to the "logic" of atheists who hovered like vultures over her blog.
ReplyDeletePoint being, there are two things important to the Christian life. #1 is the personal, one-on-one with Jesus. #2 is allowing the Spirit to talk to you as you read the word. Don't waste time with the "when am I a new person" debate. Remember, Boy Monkey was a new person when born. Is he the same now as he was then? A Christian has to grow into the person God wants them to be.
And Christmas? Once you aren't a kid any more, it never feels like Christmas used to- I just posted on that last night. But, you get to pass Christmas onto your children, and someday their children.
In all seriousness (a stretch for me), I think a people like you (you have self-doubts) is exactly the type of person Jesus is looking for. I admire you.
ReplyDeleteA PEOPLE!!?? I meant PERSON. Good grief, it's like I went to public school.
DeleteOh wait. I did. Woulda thought I was gooder than that.
It's a tough time of year to feel jolly when you really aren't. As usual I waited til the last minute to Christmas shop, I've been sick all week and feel out of the loop I'm so far behind. It is the time of year that we all must surrender and put on a happy face for the others in our life. So, come Christmas day I will be happy and jolly to simply be among our family and loved ones. Most of all, Be good to yourself!
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas Monkey Butts ;)