Thought provoking

Warning... This post is of a religious nature, for those who don't approve, please come back tomorrow for something else!

 Some of you know I've been.... struggling... with religion this past year or so. Mama MB called upon God in her time of need, when she found out how sick she was.  She then found a church and reached out for guidance and support. With time I took to going with her and Papa MB. Figured it would be nice to spend a day doing something they enjoyed. I found it rewarding...

Mama MB got worse in worse in recent months leading up to her death. I rebelled and became very angry with God.  I quit going, not only because they weren't going anymore, but because I couldn't find it in myself to understand why this God was taking my Mama MB from me.  I was very angry.

Pastor said today, that God comes back and takes the dead from this place.  This earth. Does this mean they (the dead) are stuck here also until God comes back to take them from this place?

I want to believe, I'm trying so. I do believe... I think...  I keep telling myself she's in a better place.  I keep telling myself this.  Her pain and suffering is over, this much is true. That much I am glad for.  I'm glad she isn't suffering from her cancer anymore.  For that I am glad, but I'm just a bit confused as to why he said the dead will leave this place when God comes back. 

What does this mean?

Losing grip

source

** Note to reader, before you begin. This is somewhat of a religious  post. If you've no interest, please come back later for something no so real! **

I recently found myself aching to attend the church with Mama and Papa MB.  It didn't all start with me wanting to find religion. With me seeking answers to this life we live or what God may or may not have planned for me and my life.

It started with the simple desire to participate in something my parents enjoyed doing. Something that brought them some sort of happy.

I felt a pull and decided that when we moved, I would attempt to get a little more involved in the church thing. Try to attend times other than morning service only.  I've taken Pokey to the AWANA in the evenings and I've sat through the 6pm service a few times.

It's not so bad....

To the point of the  post...  I feel as though I'm losing what if any faith I've found so far.  With Mama MB's sickness only getting worse and worse. My little bit of faith is turning into anger. This is normal, I know. I've heard of it many times. Someone loses something or someone they love and they blame God for taking them away. For not making them feel better.

But it's happening to me...  I've just started the road to seeking out what they say  is God here comes the wrench in my chain.  Or maybe like the preacher man says.... It's the devil trying to get me!

What do you do?

Hang  in there!