It has hit home...

Yesterday, 11/7/2011, Mom was to go in for chemo therapy. She responded to my message via text  yesterday while she was at the Doctor. I assumed they were in the middle of chemo treatments, she said they were to being at 11am.  Surprised me when she said that they would be bringing by a basket of stuff I had forgotten at her house during the move.  

It was refreshing to see my Mom yesterday,  I hadn't seen her since Saturday. 

To get to the point, they hadn't done any chemo treatments yesterday, they gave her her PET scan results. 

They've found more cancer in the bottom of her lung as well as along the nodes in her chest area, bronchial area. The news/information was a bit vague and I can't read Dr language.  I wish I knew everything that was going on right now, but I don't. I think that is the part that makes it the hardest, just not knowing.

I'd found the light at the end of  the tunnel with everything they were saying up until yesterday. Now I'm lost in the darkness again.  They said it will be better news if the cancer in her lung is different that than in her breast, not sure why.  They are attempting to get approval from the insurance company to do a biopsy on her lung cancer.  If it's something different, it's from smoking. Mom asked me to stop smoking and I'm going to.

You that know me and have followed me for  a bit know that I have attempted to battle that demon on many occasion, her asking me yesterday and then coming home to a pamphlet my daughter made at school about smoking and black lungs made a definite.  I'm going to stop smoking... again!

So now we wait, again, still. It's the worst thing ever.  I'm trying to be hopeful and to not let it bother me too much. It's a strange time right now.